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How the Other Half Gets Baked

Getting high in the settlements

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Dude! I, like, totally blew it. Back when I lived in Israel, all my bros were totally into weed and stuff, and we were always mad scared of the police busting us. There’s an easy solution! All you have to do if you want to smoke weed every day (smoke weed every day!) is move to a settlement.

Dig this: Two months ago, two righteous dudes were busted (sorry, man, Hebrew only) for ordering weed online and having it delivered to their homes. Literally, the cops were like, “You’re so busted!” But the dudes were, you know, “No way! We live in settlements, Ofra and Tekoa, and settlements are totally not legally a part of Israel, and the law says it’s only illegal to traffic drags in Israel itself, and we, like, don’t really live in Israel, so we’re innocent.” Or whatever! And the judge bought it! Brahs are totally free!

So, there you have it: The settlements are awesome. Because you can order drugs straight to your door. And because they’re, like, totally not legally a part of Israel and should therefore receive none of its privileges, protections, and tax shekels. Right on, dudes!

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Dina S. says:

Why would you so misrepresent this Haaretz report? Yes, I’ve learned by now that you never miss an opportunity to attack Israel, but surely you realize that some Tablet readers do read Hebrew. Besides, there is an English version:

http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/court-importing-dangerous-drugs-directly-to-west-bank-is-legal-1.417416

It states quite clearly in the article that the accused were convicted of importing drugs to Jerusalem and also of dealing drugs so they’re not “totally free”. They were acquitted of the charges related to importing drugs into the West Bank. Their clever lawyer was able, unfortunately, to take advantage of a loop hole in the interpretation of the law. Don’t lawyers do this type of thing in American courtrooms as well?

Hershel (Heshy) Ginsburg says:

This assumes that the Haaretz report is accurate, which indeed it might be.

I suspect that the judge is a hard-line lefty who figures he could score points on the reasonable assumption that the State will appeal his decision and that it will likely be overturned.

I am aware of many cases of drug arrests & convictions from Judea & Samaria & if LL would sniff around a bit, I am sure he would turn them up as well.d But a good JVP-er (and LL is a very good JVP-er) will never pass up an opportunity to bash Israel, even (or especially) if it requires some creative distortions on his part.

hg

J’lem /Efrata

Hershel (Heshy) Ginsburg says:

Oh and we pay taxes too.. often through the nose.

hg

verificationist says:

Dina S., man, you are, like, totally missing the joint. I mean point.

First, off it is not “the other half”, second, it is only two “dudes” and third you are like so full of shit bro. Stick to the Mets and Betar.

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How the Other Half Gets Baked

Getting high in the settlements

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