I Know What You Flew Last Summer
Brushing up on tips from the JetBlue-El Al partnership
Last August, after JetBlue announced plans to partner with El Al on connecting flights to and from the U.S. and Israel, New Jersey Jewish News editor Andrew Silow-Carroll penned a note with some helpful hints for JetBlue employees.
The letter, which begins, “Welcome to the El Al family—or as we say in Hebrew, Bruchim haba’im!” seeks to familiarize employees with their “new customer base.” Since it’s summer, and people are traveling (unless, you know, you fly private up to visiting day), we thought we’d revisit some of the lessons we learned last summer.
“Security lines: Passengers are instructed to arrive at the airport six hours before a flight. This may seem excessive, but Israel’s crack security service demands it on the theory that no terrorist would be dedicated enough to spend six hours in a crowd of Jews. Kidding! The six-hour time period allows our security team to ask essential questions of our passengers, including ‘Do you have family in Israel? Where do they live? What is the purpose of your visit?’ It also allows time for the person behind you in line to ask the very same questions, in even greater detail. What you might call ‘intrusive rudeness’ is merely what our people call ‘Jewish geography.'”
“Boarding: We board our flights for maximum efficiency, in the following order: Families with young children, families with six or more young children, families with eight or more young children, individuals with physical limitations, individuals with aches and pains that may be something but they won’t know until they see a specialist, individuals who cut in line, and gentiles.”
“Landing: Passengers will often burst into applause when the plane touches down in Israel. This is because a) they are deeply moved by the thought of arriving in the Land of their Ancestors; b) they are still surprised, even after 60 years, that a Jew can safely pilot an airplane; or c) they are relieved that they no longer have to listen to the guy in the middle seat complain about Obama.”
Fly the friendly skies—or go to Israel [NJ Jewish News]
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.
I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.
We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.