The Martians Are One-Staters
Raëlian Church gives left-wing historian its weird cult-y prize
The Raëlian Church—which believes, briefly, that humanity was created by extraterrestrials called Elohim (wonder where they got that?), and agrees with Judaism and Christianity that the Messiah will appear in modern-day Israel; there’s also lots of sex stuff—awarded Ilan Pappé, a prominent left-wing Israeli “New Historian” who now teaches in Britain, its Honorary Guide of Humanity title. “Pappé’s views about the situation in Palestine are in full agreement with those expressed by Raël,” said a Church spokeswoman (oh right, Raël, he’s like the leader, and is also a “racing-car driver” and a “singer-songwriter”). “They include the solution of a one-Palestine state where Jewish and Palestinian people would live together peacefully; the need to grant Right to Return to Palestinians; asking for recognition by the international community of racist crimes committed by the state of Israel.”
She added, “The world has been manipulated far too long by the Jewish community. It uses guilt and fear to paralyze the public so people don’t denounce the obvious genocide Israel is perpetrating.” She did not, however, also blame the Jews for manipulating the public so as not to accept the obvious creation of mankind by extraterrestrials, so we’ve got that going for us. “There was only one reason to create the state of Israel,” she concluded. “To gather around the Messiah people who have the mission of peacefully welcoming those who created us.”
I reached Professor Pappé for comment. He declined. Which was probably the smart thing to do.
Rael Awards Ilan Pappe Honorary Guide Title [PR Newswire/Yahoo!]
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.
I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at email@example.com. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.
We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.