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Rambo-vitz

Stallone’s Barney Ross versus our Barney Ross

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Sylvester Stallone’s new movie, The Expendables, opens today. Under other circumstances, Tablet Magazine would have happily let this unremarkable display of aging meat puppets (we have heard it called “Valentine’s Day for dudes”) go by unnoticed. But Stallone challenged us, naming his character—the movie’s lead, naturally—Barney Ross. You know, like the famous Jewish boxer and subject of Douglas Century’s great Nextbook Press biography. So who would win the Battle of the Barneys? Let’s compare and contrast.

Barney Ross

Occupation:
Professional boxer, gun runner, champion of the Jewish people

Wartime Experience:
Displayed unusual bravery under fire in Guadalcanal, awarded the Silver Star

Memorable quote:
“A champ’s got the right to choose the way he goes out.”

Barney Ross

Occupation:
Professional mercenary, gun runner, champion of Dolph Lundgren’s career

Wartime Experience:
Displayed unusual bravery under fire in fighting Eric Roberts.

Memorable quote:
“We are the shadow, the smoke in your eyes, the ghosts that hide in the night.”

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Steve says:

I’m cool just as long as ALL Barney’s continue to say “I Love You, You Love Me” and remember when designer suits were discounted at Barneys.

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Rambo-vitz

Stallone’s Barney Ross versus our Barney Ross

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