The Scroll Shidduch Series
Calling all the single ladies in the District of Columbia
Over the weekend, I received an e-mail from one of Israel’s long-dead founding fathers (or someone improbably with the same name), who directed me to this Craigslist personal ad. As a personal rule, I generally tend to avoid this section of Craigslist–there might be nothing in this world more frightening than anonymous romantic internet wanting, but the winter weekends wear down taboos and so I clicked.
Here’s how the ad begins:
Shalom! We are five handsome and two not so handsome single men. And, yes, we are Jewish. Bound by tradition and emboldened by wit, we are hosting an epic Shabbat dinner–a little challah, a little wine, and a lot of gefilte fish–in downtown Washington, DC on Friday, January 18, 2013. In a nod to our orgiastic traditions, we are inviting seven lucky ladies to feast with us. Echoing the State of Israel’s Declaration of Independence, we will consider you, “irrespective of religion or race,” as long as you “bring your own lactaid pills.”
To be considered, please submit a picture of yourself. We’d also like to hear more about you!
The ad goes on, asking some questions about the Holocaust, Seinfeld, Birthright, and Philip Roth. The whole ad is worth your time and–since no age range has been given–I suppose I ought to encourage you to forward this to all the single ladies you might know in the District of Columbia. And if they’re not horrifically offended, you should encourage them to submit.
It’s 2013, let’s bring the people together!
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.
I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at email@example.com. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.
We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.