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Prepping for a Long Island Bar Mitzvah

Let the fireworks begin

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While I’m confident that not all bar and bat mitzvahs on Long Island are like the one I’m about to describe, the following things did happen recently during the planning of a bar mitzvah on Long Island:

• The father of the bar mitzvah boy decided that an awesome fireworks show was necessary to end the bar mitzvah.

• The father approached his congressman to expedite slow-in-coming government permits for said awesome fireworks show.

• The permits arrived following the congressional lobbying of the Coast Guard, Army Corps of Engineers, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, and local Southampton officials, and despite concerns about the nesting Piping Plover birds in the ecologically fragile wetlands in Southampton.

• The father tried to receive a refund from the fireworks company after debris from the fireworks caused $7,500 worth of a damage to a neighbor’s Bentley.

• The congressman received a $5,000 contribution that may place him at the center of an ethics probe.

I spoke to Stephanie Butnick, Tablet’s resident Long Island historian, who had this to say:

I’m just upset there weren’t fireworks at my bat mitzvah. And can I get an invite to the Sweet 16?


Tim Bishop’s bar mitzvah episode could spell trouble. [Politico]

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I don’t know who is a bigger horse’s ass: Jim Bishop for directly soliciting for a contribution or Eric Semler, the father, who along with spoiling his children probably rotten, called the solicitation “really gross”. Eew!

marjorie ingall says:

When Josie becomes a Bat Mitzvah (Parshat Lech Lecha, 2014, holla!) we will have a Carly Rae Jepson performance, Bentleys for everybody, a mashed potato bar, and a time machine so that Stephanie Butnick can go back and have fireworks at her bat mitzvah.

Michael Liebowitz says:

Funny, I just posted something about planning for B’nai Mitzvot but it looks like a barely scratched the surface.

sandy nozick says:

This is disgusting.


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Prepping for a Long Island Bar Mitzvah

Let the fireworks begin

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