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The Breakdown: Mofaz vs. Kardashian

Analyzing the break-ups

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The hot news today from Israel is the very public break-up of Kadima Chair Shaul Mofaz and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. OMG Haval! :-(

While word gathers about the future of Bibi’s coalition and its impact on Israel, The Scroll would like to take a fierce look at how this shammy tale of political heartbreak stacks up against the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries calamity of last year:

KK: Kim | KH: Kris | SM: Shaul | Beebs: Bibi

Total Days Official (TDO):
KK/KH: 72
SM/Beebs: 70

Um, Who Left Whom: (UWLW)
KK/KH: KK
SM/Beebs: SM

Final Straw: (FS)
KK/KH: Cause Kim’s “intuition” told her so
SM/Beebs: Failure of Universal National Service Law

New Boo: (NB)
KK: Kanye West
KH: Fatmire ‘Myla’ Sinana (reportedly)
SM: Knesset Opposition, Israeli Left, Tzipi Livni
Beebs: Ultra-Orthodox

Break-up Bounty: (BB)
KK: $2 million ring
KH: $24 million contract with New Jersey Nets
SM: 28 seats
Beebs: Ideological Reins

Break-up Loss: (BL)
KK: Integrity
KH: Net worth drop
SM: Vice Prime Minister Status
Beebs: Super-coalition (94 seats down the 66)

Analysis:

Based on the above-listed factors, with weighted emphasis placed on factors New Boo (NB) & Break-up Bounty (BB), it looks like Beebs and KK have won their respective break-ups. However, these results seem tenuous based on long-terms projections. So stay tuned!


Mofaz announces Kadima leaving Netanyahu coalition
[Haaretz]
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries: By the Numbers [MTV]

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Let’s not further glamourize the Gabor sisters of our age. Empty, famous for only their beauty and being famous. The Gabor sister and Jolie their mother were Hungarian Jewish refugees. The Kardashians are really just WASPS with an Armenian name. Culturally you are whatever your mother is when you grow up with her.

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The Breakdown: Mofaz vs. Kardashian

Analyzing the break-ups

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