Your email is not valid
Recipient's email is not valid
Submit Close

Your email has been sent.

Click here to send another

thescroll_header

Who’s Afraid of Maggie Simpson?

Islamic Republic outlaws Homer dolls

Print Email
Krusty the Clown and Rabbi Krustofski.(Wikipedia)

The Iranian regime has banned all dolls based on characters from The Simpsons. “The Simpsons dolls are merchandise from an animated series, of which some episodes are even banned in Europe and America,” said the relevant apparatchik by way of explanation (yet one more reason, if you needed one, why we shouldn’t be in the business of banning things, be they cartoons of the Prophet or of yellow denizens of Springfield). But surely The Simpsons is especially offensive to the mullahs, right? Herewith, the 10 Simpsons characters most loathed by Tehran:

10. Principal Skinner. Fought bravely for the Great Satan in Vietnam.

9. Lunchlady Doris. Married a guy named Freedman. Look it up.

8. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. Scurrilous polytheist!

7. Waylon Smithers. “As you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers is that he’s Mr. Burns’ assistant. He’s in his early 40s, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.”

6. Kent Brockman. “Brockman,” eh?

5. Artie Ziff. Jewish millionaire voiced by Jon Lovitz.

4. Bart. For much the same reason the Czech Communists feared the Plastic People of the Universe: Bart is rock ‘n’ roll, and rock ‘n’ roll is subversive.

3. Krusty the Clown. Son of Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky. And they dare deny Jews control the entertainment industry!

2. Lisa. Lisa wouldn’t hurt a fly. Instead, she is an extremely bright, curious, inquisitive young woman who is never afraid to say exactly what’s on her mind. It’s difficult to think what could be more threatening to the mullahs. Except …

1. Maggie. Silent. Ever-watching. Omnipresent. Handy with a pistol. Could Maggie be Mossad? Iran can’t take that chance.

Aw, Man! Bart Simpson Joins Barbie in Iran Ban [Reuters]

Print Email

COMMENTING CHARGES
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180

WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.

I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at letters@tabletmag.com. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.

We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.

Marc R says:

Isn’t Kent Brockman’s real name “Kenny Brockelstein”?

And Lisa had a crush on her Jewish teacher, Mr. Bergstrom (Dustin Hoffman credited as “Sam Etic”; get it?).

Marc is going with “Iranian regime” because we have more nation building to do.

2000

Your comment may be no longer than 2,000 characters, approximately 400 words. HTML tags are not permitted, nor are more than two URLs per comment. We reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

Thank You!

Thank you for subscribing to the Tablet Magazine Daily Digest.
Please tell us about you.

Who’s Afraid of Maggie Simpson?

Islamic Republic outlaws Homer dolls

More on Tablet:

A Tale of Three Twitter Feeds: Hamas Tweets in Arabic, English, and Hebrew

By Aaron Magid — Analysis of the social-media messaging of Hamas’ military wing reveals distinct voices for the West, the Arab Middle East, and Israel