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What Is Your Funniest Nightmare?

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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(Liana Finck/Tablet Magazine)

Did you catch Liana Finck’s second installment of “Tell Mitzi” yesterday? She responded to various readers’ New Year resolutions, most especially one, appropriately, that had to do with magazines.

Now it’s time for you to help her out again. This week, Liana wants to know: What are your funniest nightmares? Leave ’em in the comments, and maybe she will respond to yours in next week’s “Tell Mitzi.”

Related: Paper Plans [Tablet Magazine]

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Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.

Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.

We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.

Eric Salitsky says:

I dreamt that I had been sunbathing at the park in front of the Louvre and I got so sunburned that when I woke up the next day my face was as black as soot. But only my face was sunburned – the rest of my body and also my lips were white so it looked like I had put on blackface. I tried as best as I could to remove it but nothing worked and all the Parisians on the street were staring at me and making comments like, “that’s despicable!” Luckily, in this dream I spoke and understood French perfectly, so I spent the rest of the day trying to convince everyone that I saw that it was a sunburn, it was accidental, and that I am not a racist.

Sadbuttrue says:

I don’t know if this qualifies as a nightmare but it was certainly no fantasy of mine. I dreamt that Reba McEntire and I stayed up all night in her bed, unclothed talking over wine. A few notes: 1) She does nothing for me, musically, aesthetically or otherwise. 2) She’s 35 years my senior. 3) I woke up both horrified and hysterical laughing at the memory.

Katherine says:

In my nightmare, it’s 3:54 in the morning I go to The Scroll portion of Tablet Magazine trying desperately to find my friend Mitzi. I need to ask her a question, “what is the REAL question of the week”. There are no answers there, only scary pictures of Joan Rivers, Jesus and Fran Lebowitz.

tell me about it, Katherine. i was up all night listening to Jesus heckling Joan Rivers. where am i?? i really liked your pink pill story though.


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What Is Your Funniest Nightmare?

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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