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What Is Your Funniest Nightmare?

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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(Liana Finck/Tablet Magazine)

Did you catch Liana Finck’s second installment of “Tell Mitzi” yesterday? She responded to various readers’ New Year resolutions, most especially one, appropriately, that had to do with magazines.

Now it’s time for you to help her out again. This week, Liana wants to know: What are your funniest nightmares? Leave ‘em in the comments, and maybe she will respond to yours in next week’s “Tell Mitzi.”

Related: Paper Plans [Tablet Magazine]

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Eric Salitsky says:

I dreamt that I had been sunbathing at the park in front of the Louvre and I got so sunburned that when I woke up the next day my face was as black as soot. But only my face was sunburned – the rest of my body and also my lips were white so it looked like I had put on blackface. I tried as best as I could to remove it but nothing worked and all the Parisians on the street were staring at me and making comments like, “that’s despicable!” Luckily, in this dream I spoke and understood French perfectly, so I spent the rest of the day trying to convince everyone that I saw that it was a sunburn, it was accidental, and that I am not a racist.

Sadbuttrue says:

I don’t know if this qualifies as a nightmare but it was certainly no fantasy of mine. I dreamt that Reba McEntire and I stayed up all night in her bed, unclothed talking over wine. A few notes: 1) She does nothing for me, musically, aesthetically or otherwise. 2) She’s 35 years my senior. 3) I woke up both horrified and hysterical laughing at the memory.

Katherine says:

In my nightmare, it’s 3:54 in the morning I go to The Scroll portion of Tablet Magazine trying desperately to find my friend Mitzi. I need to ask her a question, “what is the REAL question of the week”. There are no answers there, only scary pictures of Joan Rivers, Jesus and Fran Lebowitz.

tell me about it, Katherine. i was up all night listening to Jesus heckling Joan Rivers. where am i?? i really liked your pink pill story though.


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What Is Your Funniest Nightmare?

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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