What Would Tevye Do?
Mr. Manners on finding the love of a Jewish woman
Last night, 200 protesters traveled to the Israeli city of Bat Yam to reasonably argue, “Any Jewish woman who goes with an Arab should be killed; any Jew who sells his home to an Arab should be killed. “
“These Arabs, they speak Hebrew, they look just like us and they tempt our women,” said Moshe Ben-Zikri, a community administrator in Jerusalem. “Some guy named Arafat says his name is Ofer, and so on. Our girls don’t know these guys are Arab and they fall victim to them and families are destroyed.”
How reasonable! It’s the old Pepsi challenge—when two men look the same, speak the same language, are both circumcised and you don’t know their name, a Jewish woman will choose the Arab man one million percent of the time. Possibly even more often.
Oh, easily-fooled Jewish women, why can’t you understand that Coke is the superior beverage? What does Pepsi have that a thirteen year old screaming about murdering women doesn’t? I have some suggestions for the charming gentlemen.
1. Meet woman that you like.
2. Ask woman out. Do not say you will kill her if she dates, or has dated an Arab. This is more third date material.
3. Eventually you might meet the parents. If they have an Arab tenant, instead of killing them, compliment them on their drapes.
You follow these instructions, and Jewish woman will still date whoever they want—but who they want might just include you.
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