How To Punish Anti-Semitism
Hate a Jew, get a sandwich
The Riverfront Times, St. Louis’ alt-weekly, has happened upon the perfect sentence-cum-education-session for anti-Semitic offenders: Send ‘em to a deli! “As part of his court-ordered punishment for alleged anti-Semitic remarks during a traffic stop, Mel Gibson recently paid a visit to Protzel’s Deli,” the paper writes, tongue firmly in cheek, in its best-of issue.
His sentencing included sampling a smorgasbord of Protzel’s classic deli sandwiches: corned beef, pastrami, brisket, tongue, whitefish salad, reuben. When he asked, “Do these come on white bread?” security guards tensed, but the Protzel family simply continued loading a platter with knishes and kosher pickles. Gibson was then asked to identify by sight and smell delicacies including kugel, challah and gefilte fish, and culinary curios such as Fox’s U-Bet chocolate syrup and Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda.
Guys, we can build on this.
Don’t forget to debate St. Louis’ best deli in the comments. Hell, let’s open it up to the entire Midwest. I hear Manny’s is pretty good.
Protzel’s Delicatessen [Riverfront Times]
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
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