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Looking for Rabbi Versed in Dark Talmudic Arts

The beginning to the world’s best Craigslist ad?

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(NYT)

Currently making the rounds on the Twitter machine is an ad that made the best of Craigslist earlier this year, a feat considering…well…we all know what circulates on Craigslist.

Let’s start with the title: Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.

Here is the rest of it:

WANTED:

One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

Unfortunately, the Queens-based ad isn’t active anymore. Otherwise, we would have enlisted our readers to make this worthy dream come true. If you’re out there and you’ve managed to create a Golem, please write in and let us know.

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Having just finished The Golem and the Jinni (and adoring it, and having some issues with Tablet’s middling review of it) I think this post is well-deserving of its Best of Craigslist accolade. That said, I hope the listing has been taken down because jeez, BAD IDEA, or WORST IDEA? Hello, stupid Queens Craigslister, did you not SEE The Sorcerer’s Apprentice when you were five??

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Looking for Rabbi Versed in Dark Talmudic Arts

The beginning to the world’s best Craigslist ad?

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