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Redefine Bitter Herbs With a Bob Marley Haggadah

It’s free and downloadable and slightly insane

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(BobMarleyHaggadah)

Earlier this year on Bob Marley’s birthday, we wrote about the famous musician’s Jewish father, which apparently not a ton of people knew about. We were surprised too.

Now, as we approach the time to celebrate the exodus, why not look to one of exodus and Zion’s biggest proponents, Bob Marley for some inspiration. Sound insane? Earlier this week I was informed (h/t Stephanie Butnick) of the existence of a Bob Marley Haggadah, which captures the spirit of Marley (I think), uses some swear words, promotes the history of Jewish achievement, and also inexplicably rips on Morrissey. Created by a fella named Nathan Phillips and designed by Jessica Stewart, it contains the images of Biggie and Tupac and credits Dayenu with being the best Jewish song not written by Barbra Streisand.

If you’re in a pinch or want to redefine bitter herbs, I suggest you check it out. It may not be Maxwell’s, but it do got that silver hammer. It may not be Foer’s New American Haggadah, but it may make you feel extremely high and incredibly chosen.

I got nothing.

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The Almost All Of Passover In Under 3 Minutes Song

Lyrics by: Richard Marcus

(To the tune of “I’ve Been Working On The
Railroad”)

VERSE 1:

We’ve been working for the Pharaoh

Since we all were kids,

We’ve been working for the Pharaoh

Building pyramids.

Can’t he hear our Moses
calling:

“Let my people go!

If not the plagues will be appalling.”

Pharaoh, don’t move slow!

VERSE 2:

We’ve been schlepping for the Pharaoh

He treats us like we’re slaves.

We’re farklempft with the Pharaoh

Moses begged him
to behave.

But still, he keeps us here in bondage,

His stone heart God can’t reach,

If we wanted this much sand,

We’d move to West
Palm Beach.

(Sung to “Dinah
won’t you blow”)

Locust, boils and flies,

Darkness, blood and frogs,

Gnats and killing livestock,

(With and without horns).

Hail, big as basketballs,

Then the worst of all:

Whacking the first born!

( Sung to:”
Fee Fi Fiddly Eye-Oh” part)

Singing: Flee, fly, middle of the night,

Flee, fly, bread don’t rise.

Flee, fly, Pharaoh wants to fight

But he’s in for a big surprise.

(Sung to: “Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah” part)

Oh, someone better part the Red Sea. Someone
better cut it in half.

Someone better part the Red Sea

Then we’ll worship a golden calf.

VERSE 3.

We were working for the Pharaoh

Oy, it was so hard!

Plus totally illegal,

‘Cause we didn’t have green cards.

Thank God we’re promised Canaan

That kept us all on track.

‘Cause if we fled to Arizona

They’d’ve shipped us all right back.

( Sung to:”
Fee Fi Fiddly Eye-Oh” part)

Singing: Flee, fly, middle of the night,

Flee, fly, bread don’t rise.

Flee, fly, Pharaoh wants to fight

But he’s in for a big surprise.

VERSE 4.

Now we’re sitting at our Seder

We have our questions four:

Why this night is different ?

Why we recline and eat maror?

Dipping veggies, eating matzoh,

Where’s the afikoman hid?

Let’s open the door for Elijah,

Yeah, it’s great to be a Yid.

(God I’m starving!)

It’s great to be a Yid…

(When’s this over?)

It’s great to be a Yid…

(Next year in J’town)

(FADE)

It’s great to be a Yid…

c Richard
Marcus/Jack Knifed Big Rig Music
2013

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Redefine Bitter Herbs With a Bob Marley Haggadah

It’s free and downloadable and slightly insane

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