Your email is not valid
Recipient's email is not valid
Submit Close

Your email has been sent.

Click here to send another

thescroll_header

Egypt Says Israel Stole Sand

The country wants a reasonable $500 billion for Israel’s years in Sinai

Print Email
Egypt's sand.(National Geographic)

In a short, 750-page report sent to the United Nations recently, Egypt demanded $500 billion dollars from Israel as compensation for damages inflicted on the Sinai Peninsula from 1967 to 1982, when Israel occupied the region.

Among other grievances, Egypt has accused Israel of disrupting maritime trade in the Suez Canal, thus depriving Egypt of millions of dollars’ worth of revenue, and stealing just under $50 billion worth of sand. Those involved with Egypt’s legal proceedings voiced concern that the country was left with annoyingly breathtaking views of the area and “worthless rock” like Mount Sinai.

In response to accusations that Egypt wants a disproportionate sum worth more than Israel’s entire operating budget, authorities referenced the peace agreement signed in 1979 and confirmed that they were just trying to futher develop friendly relations.

Up until now, the UN has ignored the report, so Egyptian authorities have forwarded it on to the U.S. administration via Gmail in the hopes that they will have better luck pressuring Israel into paying up.

As Tablet learned through a White House official who may or may not exist, President Barack Obama has weighed in: “I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m interested in this issue if and only if I can be assured that I’ll be able to secure another Nobel Peace Prize for my involvement.”

Important Israeli lawyers have already started preparing their rebuttal, should the case go to court. “Taking into account disruptions to Israel’s trade, the number of cargo shipments seized, and the money we’re losing from phantom toll booths, we were pleased to realize that Egypt actually owes us $1 trillion.”

At press time, Egypt was contemplating also filing suit against the Ottoman Empire for goblet theft in the years between 1507-1906.

Egypt Seeks $500B from Israel for Sinai Damage [Nuqudy]

Print Email
herbcaen says:

the sand was stolen by Mossad trained sharks and vultures

Methinks this story pulleth my leg…

Very “dry” humor…

Is this parody? It’s so hard to tell with ME politics.

    Miriam Leah Cohen says:

    That’s how I felt as well. They can’t be serious!

    Markus says:

    I think it’s a no brainer when they quote Obama stating that he’d only get involved if there was a noble peace prize included

PhillipNagle says:

Shouldn’t you have saved this article for April 1.

PhillipNagle says:

Shouldn’t you have saved this article for April 1.

Metatrona says:

Wouldn’t it be poetic justice if all these nut-job Muslims got swine flu and vanished off the face of God’s earth?

lenny46 says:

Is it April Fools Day in Cairo?

They’ll toss this suit out. Egypt already sends tons of free sand to Israel every summer via the Khamsin!

The “best” part about this “claim” is the part about “disrupting maritime trade in the Suez Canal” which assumes, probably rightfully, that people are too ignorant to know or remember that the “casus belli” for the (1967) 6 Days War (in which Israel conquered Sinai) was the illegal closure of the Straits of Tiran by Egypt itself…

The “best” part about this “claim” is the part about “disrupting maritime trade in the Suez Canal” which assumes, probably rightfully, that people are too ignorant to know or remember that the “casus belli” for the (1967) 6 Days War (in which Israel conquered Sinai) was the illegal closure of the Straits of Tiran by Egypt itself…

Time to send Pharaoh the bill for slavery in Egypt

Ilan Toren says:

Can’t be parody. The China News ran the same story

FifthHorseman says:

The picture should have shown those Sand Castles build by Israel.
The retreat in the summer by the sea.
The current Egyptian government lacks an uderstanding that to keep the Sand Castle up right they must be moist. It seems that during the Arab Spring that job was not done and the result has been sand dunes like the picture above.

Egyptians people should work. Instead of asking for money from others, should learn what is working and move forward.

    tell the same to the the hebrews in israel .. they been asking for money from the US since the creation of that cancerous existance.. that evil moon G_D haShem teaching of how to be a paracite is the norm for your kind.. what canyou expect anyway? how low a hebrew can get would be a good start..

You know, there is probably a grain (harhar) of truth to this. I wouldn’t be surprised if Israel exploited Sinai’s resources for its own gain.

Apparently an Egyptian professor has also calculated that the Jews owe money for the gold and jewels that they stole from them when they leave Egypt. With the interest over 5,000 years, it amounts to billions.

    Yett they owe the Jews even more for the enslavement and free work the Jews did for them. anyway those people have no connection to the ancient Egyptians who actually have a civilization not like these barbaric beasts.

      EsavBenyamin says:

      The ancient Egyptians are the ancestors of the Copts! (They don’t like us either.)

Ok, here’s the deal how it happened.
The 4000 Jews who didn’t show up at the World Trade Center on 9/11 told the Mossad Shark to tell the Mossad Vulture to steal sand in the Sinai for an exchange of 72 virgins.

TestTickle says:

All the author’s clever jabs makes me think the view she is presenting is not without bias. Anyone who trusts reporting that so clearly has a bias must be an idiot.
I did get a chuckle out of this, but it should be labeled ‘entertainment-NOT NEWS’.

And how about the bill for unpaid building work in Egypt over a 400 year period?

Euel Melaku says:

Is it April the Fools Day in Cairo?….it must be………or Egyptians are fantasizing USD 500 billion….as they used to beg from USA…..

How could you do this? To steal sand from the Valley of the Kings? Before I was reserving judgement, but after this article I strongly believe that they may be stealing Mediterranean water as well. I hear things like that in my skull.

GAWZ says:

That’s almost as big of an outrage as ice being stolen from the Eskimos.

geronimo2006 says:

I thought this story was real until I got to the “annoyingly breathtaking views” part….

I hope Israel will issue a counter claim for constructive dismissal when the Jews had to Exodus Egypt due to poor working conditions thanks to the help from Moses at the time.

I’ll bet compound interest comes to a hell of a lot more than $500 billion

    isahiah62 says:

    now that Egypt has rescinded the peace and allowed it’s people to blow up gas lines- I’d say SINAI should go back to Israel b/c they broke the treaty- also retroactively charge them for the tunnels they allow Gazan to build as well as a HUGE bill for the 25,000 Jews ethnic cleansed by order of Eisenhower, return of all the US money for “peace” , and a BIG bill for all the Africans refugees that survive the trip through their racist nation.

I think what they are asking for is too little. Why the hebrews can’t get any lower… why sound like it is a surprise? your hebrew kind stole over 90 % of historic palestine, and they are going after the rest .. never mind stealing the natural resources, culture, food, and everything in between .. you and you know how you are to be a true hebrew…. your true colors are well known to the poeple in that area…

David Golden says:

I immediately checked the date of the article and was stunned it was not from April 1. I guess parody knows no calendar bounds.

Agree says:

Ha ha, I love this article!

As an Egyptian, I think Israel responded perfectly with the $1 Trillion rebuttal!
$500 Billion for stolen sand is bullshit, and so is $1 Trillion worth for Israels disrupted trade. Although I don’t agree with Israel’s policies, their involvement in Sinai has actually benefited the region, not the opposite.

Egyptians and Israel’s have at least one thing in common, their love to sue.

2000

Your comment may be no longer than 2,000 characters, approximately 400 words. HTML tags are not permitted, nor are more than two URLs per comment. We reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

Thank You!

Thank you for subscribing to the Tablet Magazine Daily Digest.
Please tell us about you.

Egypt Says Israel Stole Sand

The country wants a reasonable $500 billion for Israel’s years in Sinai

More on Tablet:

How You Can Help the Family of Zidan Sayif

By Yair Rosenberg — New campaign honors Druze officer who fell defending Jerusalem synagogue