If Gender Cakes can reveal whether your child will be a boy or a girl—and, in a new trend, they can—just think of all the other life questions that can be answered by clever foodstuffs
Have you heard about these “Baby Cake” or “Gender Cake” parties? They’re a thing: A pregnant woman has her doctor write the baby’s gender and seal it in an envelope, which a bakery then uses to bake a cake that’s either pink or blue, under a layer of gender-neutral-colored fondant. When she cuts the cake at her baby shower (or random carb-loading party), she and her partner and everybody else learn the gender of her spawn-to-be. It’s a strange goyish shower-dessert trend to add to the “Hey, let’s eat our ultrasound photo” fad. “Let them eat baby,” as blogger Lizzie Skurnick so aptly put it.
What other predictive foodstuffs might we offer anxious, expecting Jewish parents?
Cut it open, and inside is an inscrutable medical insurance statement telling you what kind of internist your son will be.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY DAVID GOLDIN
Swirled into its fluorescent fuchsia deliciousness is an image in sour cream of exactly how slutty your daughter’s bat mitzvah party dress will be.
Poke it with your fork—it’s so much more succulent than your Great-Aunt Myra’s!—and it yelps out the name of the hypercompetitive preschool your child will be admitted to.
Depending on whether you first pick a pita triangle from the left or right side of the bowl, you determine whether your child will support AIPAC or J Street.
A cherry blintz means he’ll be a lawyer. A cheese blintz means he’ll be an accountant.
The number of poppy seeds predicts the cost of your daughter’s wedding.
Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech to Congress this week, filled with falsehoods and untruths, defies the spirit of this week’s parasha, which urges us to be diligent with numbers and facts
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.
I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.
We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.