Who cares about March Madness when there are Apgar tests, violin lessons, and a million other things for a Jewish parent to be anxious about? Here’s a bracket for parental anxiety.
Some of us are getting really bored by all the talk of March Madness, the seemingly interminable college basketball tournament, which, thankfully, ends next week. But what if there was a bracket-to-bracket matchup of something far more engaging, like Jewish parental neuroses and insane overly competitive impulses? It might look something like this (click to enlarge):
This week’s parasha, telling of the strange and inexplicable deaths of Aaron’s sons, is an excellent primer on truth, lies, bunk, and the crucial differences among them
Daily rate: $2
Monthly rate: $18
Yearly rate: $180
WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO COMMENT?
Tablet is committed to bringing you the best, smartest, most enlightening and entertaining reporting and writing on Jewish life, all free of charge. We take pride in our community of readers, and are thrilled that you choose to engage with us in a way that is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. But the Internet, for all of its wonders, poses challenges to civilized and constructive discussion, allowing vocal—and, often, anonymous—minorities to drag it down with invective (and worse). Starting today, then, we are asking people who'd like to post comments on the site to pay a nominal fee—less a paywall than a gesture of your own commitment to the cause of great conversation. All proceeds go to helping us bring you the ambitious journalism that brought you here in the first place.
I NEED TO BE HEARD! BUT I DONT WANT TO PAY.
Readers can still interact with us free of charge via Facebook, Twitter, and our other social media channels, or write to us at email@example.com. Each week, we’ll select the best letters and publish them in a new letters to the editor feature on the Scroll.
We hope this new largely symbolic measure will help us create a more pleasant and cultivated environment for all of our readers, and, as always, we thank you deeply for your support.